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RESPONDING TO YOUTH AND CHILDREN FOLLOWING CRISIS

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows.”
II Corinthians 1:3-5

Our children will be healing and recovering from two traumatic experiences.
1. Exposure to life threatening violence.
2. Grieving the loss of age-peer friends.

You will be assisting these young people to accomplish four tasks of mourning.
Accepting the reality of the loss.
Working through to the pain of grief.
Adjusting to an environment in which the deceased are missing.
Emotionally relocating the deceased and moving on with life.

from J. William Worden
Grief Counseling and Grief Therapy

"We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure."
Hebrews 6:19

Listen, respond to and don't rush in with simplistic or theologically complex answers to their difficult questions.
Why did it happen to us?
We don't deserve this, do we?
Have we been so bad?
If God is loving, why does he permit such suffering?
If God is all powerful, why didn't he prevent this from happening?

A Potpourri of Counseling Pointers

Your greatest gift is your presence as a listener.

Respect the individual timing of each young person's grieving.

Remember that an event like this triggers many other issues (past abuse, insecurities, earlier trauma).

Many teens struggle with controlling their own anger. "Am I going to lose control too?"

Avoid opportunistic evangelizing.

Be accepting of anger reactions and don't rush forgiveness.

Watch for signs of impending suicide or violence.

Be ready to refer to a professional therapist when needed.

Watch for signs of Secondary Traumatic Stress Disorder in yourself.

“When we honestly ask ourselves which persons in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving much advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a gentle and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is the friend who cares.”
Henri Nouwen Out of Solitude

REFERRING YOUR YOUNG PERSON TO ANOTHER SOURCE OF CARE IS SOMETIMES YOUR MOST APPROPRIATE RESPONSE.
Keep a list of emergency phone numbers with you.
Know several sources of professional or pastoral counseling care.
When appropriate, consult with your supervisor.
Find out how the particular source of professional care wants the referral handled.
In a candid and supportive manner tell the young person why you are recommending the referral.
Contact the parents when referring a minor to a physician or professional psychotherapist.
Continue giving support and facilitate the referral process.
Follow-up with the child or teenager in a way that complements the work of the professional care-giver

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid."
John 14:27